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Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
12:21 am - coon2

Maria {Meo} and David have been visiting my place for a few, and it's been really great to have close friends here that i haven't seen in so long. Meo and I just went shopping. I wasn't exactly excited because I had just had a little confrontation about my Menards job, so she and I hadn't said much when we got into the car. Driving the alley loop, we tooled over to Saginaw Hwy to be on our way. There was an opossum in front of the first stop light. He couldn't have, but he seemed to appear from nowhere. His hindquarters were bloodied and mashed into the road, he was arched up on his front legs, head aimed high, mouth agape. And i hit him. I felt his head hit my undercarriage through my pedals at least twice. My hand flew to my mouth because I thought I'd be sick. It was low speed; i was stopping for the light he was in front of, but it brought instant tears to my eyes. It was far short of killing him, but brought him more, unnecessary, pain. All I am thinking is about this dieing marsupial. it's pain and fear, and eventual, morbid demise. it's about 15 minutes to meijer, and i couldn't say anything for the entire drive. Of course, that makes me feel shallow for only having 15 minutes of silence for death, but i still felt horrible inside for him. It's all one ways around my house, so I didn't see him again on the drive home. however, the little guys is more or less at the end of my road, two houses away.

And I don't have the heart to go and see.



current mood: helpless

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Friday, November 16th, 2007
12:16 am
 is there anybody out there?

current mood: lost

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Thursday, May 24th, 2007
1:08 am - checkin it 2x

I feel like I should be doing something dramatic and amazing right now.  Like curing cancer by just thinking about it.  I love feeling like this, but i just get jack shit done. 

I spent an hour on the phone w/a friend that I really hadn't talked to in ages.  Even though it wasn't all good things, it made me so happy to be able to hear from him.

music has also just kicked me in the head, and i loved every minute of it.  I spent a few hours trying to figure out what music i should share, what new music i should look into.  and thinking bout what i want to do, to make, to visit, etc. 

it's being a self centered socialite that makes me happy. 

Well, Shit.

Supposedly, I'm getting ready for bed right now, but I just can't. it's 72 outside, and 80 fucking degrees in here.  I can't sleep like that.  Besides, Chris should be home any minute now.  Any minute...

I miss people.  How could I realize for so long that that's what's been getting me down?  But i don't want to meet new people so much, as just hang out w/the people I used to.  But that can't happen so much.  Although, I have to admit, the people I work w/here are  awesome.

I work at menards 1 day a week, so it gets me about $100 more a month than i would have otherwise had.  So, it looks like I'll be showing up there every friday night and play celebrety.  Which is cool i guess.  People have honest smiles when they see me.  Or they're just really, really good liars.  That wouldn't surprise me.

I've got my state worker #4 job back, just at a new park.  Awesome as well.  It is so different, yet not.  How the hell can I explain it better than that?? don't judge me.  heh.  I was so worried when I started that everyone would be a tightass, or really, well, mundane.  there's only a dozen people at sleepy hollow, but they're awesome.  There's the manditory one guy no one is fond of, but i don't mind him too much yet.  he seems to at least listen to me when i have suggestions.  Everyone else there is great, most are underage, but whatever.  they still seem great.  the only real downsides are that i don't get to work w/them all at once, and that they all seem to live really close to or in laingsburg.  i stilll live half an hour away from work. 

Go me.

well, it's one am, and still fekking hot, but i should get some sleep.  Dad will be here in a few hours to help me clean  up the remainders of my old kitchen and haul it to the dump.

happy may 24th.



current mood: creative

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Thursday, May 17th, 2007
10:10 am
  1. Determine how many times a week you eat or want chocolate. It must be a number between 1 and 10, including 1 or 10.

     

  2. Multiply that number by 2.

     

    • 8 x 2 = 16
  3. Add 5 to the previous result.

     

    • 16 + 5 = 21
  4. Multiply that by 50.

     

    • 21 x 50 = 1050
    1. Add 1757 if you've had a birthday this year. If you haven't had a birthday this year, add 1756.
    2.  
    3. Let's say your birthday hasn't passed yet.
    • 1050 + 1756 = 2806
    1. Subtract your birth year.
    2.  
    3. Assuming you were born in 1975...
    • 2806 - 1975 = 831
    1. You'll end up with a 3 digit number, the first digit (in the hundreds place) is how many times a week you eat or want chocolate (the number you specified in the first step). The next two numbers are your age!
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    Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
    9:34 pm - family night

    Every tuesday, for a while now, anywho, my family has gotten together for a home cooked dinner and a night out.  Tonight was pizza [and won ton pizza] and bowling.  I was impressed w/Chloe, my 5 year old neice, because her attenton span usually doesn't get her very far.   However, on her second, maybe third frame of the second game, she slipped.   the ball went into the air as she fell backwards.  it happened so fast, but the instant bruise on her head says she was at least hit there, but i think the ball may have hit her stomach too. 
    Poor baby.
    she's at the hospital w/ Eldon and MJ.



    current mood: crushed

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    Friday, April 13th, 2007
    8:21 pm
    Yesterday, my bossman, for whom i have trmendous respect, loaned me his keys to get something out of the bank room.  I'm just a cashier, i'm not supposed to go in there.  it made me feel really proud that he trusted me like that, even if it was trivial.  
    This morning, another bossman needed my help.  a guest showed up @ 5:30 this morning to do return (the returns desk doesn't open till 8), and the manager hasn't learned how to do that yet.  He couldn't stick around for me to teach him, but I knew what to do.   i know other staff that don't know how to do that either, and felt really good that I had the littlesituation under control.

    go me.

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    4:18 am
    city taxes, mutha fucka

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    Thursday, April 12th, 2007
    12:24 am

    Chris has been looking for a replacement for his truck.  we've found a 96 caddilac seville, and it looks like we may get to pick it up today.  I'ts opalescent white, leather interior, moonroof, power and heated seats with a few more percs.  it was still more than i wanted to pay for a car.  hell, other than my ouse, i have never spent that much on one thing before in my life.   well, probably gasoline, food, etc, but those are collective things.
    the bad side is, it won't fit in the driveway where chris's truck fit, so we have to rotate vehicles all the time now.  
    but it looks like we get to pick it up today:)

    Dustin Stern came over to see Darin so they could play together.  however, since D has an irregular sleep schedule, Duncan got to hang out with me.  it was great to have company.
       you should come visit me!!

    one of eldon's cowerkers...

    three more weeks of 5am shifts.  apparently, Menards is open at 5am on saturdays too.  i get to work my first weekend in two weeks. 
    Oh joy.



    current mood: good

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    Wednesday, April 11th, 2007
    9:34 am
    Good luck.

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    Tuesday, April 10th, 2007
    12:39 am
    So, I went to my brother's work to eat lunch with him.  Every Tuesday I can from here on out.  working 5-10am means I can sometimes have a lonely afternoon. I clock out, I come home, I change.  It is still not time to go yet, so i make a trip to the bathroom, straighten up a few things on the way back to the clock.  it's about time.  I grab my coat and keys, and the door.  There's Little Sneezers, with one pizza left on the rack.  like it's just for me.  Drive to the building, waiting for landmarks to pass me by.  It was bright out.  I think the secretary knows me by now.  I got a funny look when I came in the door.
    "Eldon has today off."

    current mood: bummed

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    Sunday, April 8th, 2007
    10:01 am

    I had so many things to say about my Easter, and how nice it was.  But i'm home now, and all i can think is that I have to go to bed soon so I can work at five am and feel underappriciated while i stand near an icy door willing away the hours.

    That, and Darin is MIA.

    again.



    current mood: apathetic

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    Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
    4:01 pm - I stole my brother's camera!
    the ring

    current mood: ecstatic

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    Thursday, March 1st, 2007
    12:06 pm

    Baby, my truck got hit this morning.

    that's the first thing chris said.  And dammit, it made my heart race.  he's fine.  someone backed into him at the QD and she lost her bumper for it.  CJ just got a ding in his.

    I have countertops!! i'm still looking for a suitable camera to take a picture of the ring, but i need to post an image of my kitchen now too.

    i have been feeling ancient as of late.  not because i've been listening to a radio station dedicated to a previous decade; it's just the way i feel.  my fuse is short, i ache quite often.  money worries me, as always.  but it's not even that.  i've been flooded w/memories of kincheloe.  i was, what, 6 when i left there?  it's almost all been triggered by smells too.  a woman comes through my line at checkout and was wearing the perfume my kintergarden teacher used to wear.  i felt like i was right back in class for an instant.  or a scent will be blow on the wind, and i'll see the empty grass field next to our old house, and i'm sitting next to melissa pulling blades apart into tiny pieces.  the clarity is what gets me. of course, it's the memories of earl that hurt.



    current mood: curious

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    Thursday, February 22nd, 2007
    12:08 pm
    so, my family travels. a lot. an aunt and uncle just got back from a few weeks in china. another aunt is in peru. she goes for a few months every year to work with a halfway house of sorts. Here's an excerpt from one of her letters:

    I had a strange event the other night. I went to bed about 10 and all was well. Just a little while later all the dogs, and I mean all, stated barking. All around the area. Then I heard tremendous yelling and shouting. Finally I got out of bed and went into Pamelas bedroom where there is a window overlooking the street. Our bedrooms are on the second story. There were probably 50 to 75 people out there. They were opposit each other in the street yelling and screaming. They were throwing stones at each other and some of them had machetes. Some people were already injured and were sitting in the street or under our windows. I did not turn on the light and stayed behind the curtain. They kept chasing each other up and down the street and out street is very busy with traffic but when the cars saw what was going on they all made U turns. For about 2 hours not one car went down our street and it is a main street. The creepiest thing was when they were charging each other they would walk like a monkey swinging the machete against the blacktop making the worst sound and sparks would fly up. It was really quite scary. Tony called his son, who was studying at a friends, and told him not to come home. He later said that is was going on all over the area.

    I am thanking whatever gods that I didn't go with her this year, but at the same time, i am berating myself for staying in Michigan. I would not have been able to tear my eyes away from that window...

    current mood: fasinated

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    Thursday, January 25th, 2007
    10:44 am - D

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    Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
    12:15 pm
    01-23-2007


    Ten years ago, a seventeen year old boy and his eleven year old little sister were in a car accident on their way to school. He had slid into an icy intersection and was t-boned.
    The first people on the scene were from the Roscommon County Road Commission. They had no obligations to stop, but I believe that because they did, I am in much better shape today than I could have been. After the accident, my brother was only bruised, but I was not so fortunate. Incoherent, I do not remember the faces or names of those that helped me as I screamed; I just know that they did. Eventually, I received ten stitches to my face and was observed for a while in the hospital. Nothing serious was observed, but I am still so incredibly thankful for the men that pulled me from the wrecked Cutlass Sierra.
    I am twenty-one years old now, happily engaged, a home owner, and going to school to be a teacher. I still carry scars on my cheek from that decade ago, but they are barely noticeable now. No one had to stop January 17th, but they did. I cannot express enough how grateful I am to everyone on staff there.
    I want to let you all know that I still think of what a wonderful thing you did. The gift basket is trivial in comparison, but I needed to give something in return.

    Thank you for my life.







    Evelyn Down

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    Monday, January 15th, 2007
    10:27 am - 011507
    So.

    I am 21 years old now. my last night as a minor was the best one of my life. There was a party of some local friends, although only a fraction showed up. my kitchen wasn't finished, but the house was cleaner than it had been in a long while.

    Chris and i had chosen the 13th because that was the night we had met on a year ago at a lan party(aka, a gathering of computer gaming geeks). we hadn't stopped talking since. it was also the night before my birthday, and we had never really had a 'look, we bought a house of our own!' party. so all were thrown together with pizza to celebrate.

    Chris never really left my side all night, and we often were sharing a seat. around ten o'clock, he started talking about the night from a year ago. he really had never been far from my side that night either.

    the night of our party, Darin and my brother were around, but, unfortunately, others had left early. but while sitting on his lap, chris proposed to me. the ring is a silver puzzle ring, similar to one he wears. i cried, of course, but only a little. all of my doubts vanished in an instant.

    the wedding will most likely be on february 29th of next year, with the reception the day after. Chris will be taking my last name. no other plans have been made as of yet. i love this man so much, and have never been so excited or thankful for someone before.

    i know i didn't call everyone that i should have, or wanted to, but such is life, and time is short.

    current mood: loved

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    10:23 am - 011507
    So.

    I am 21 years old now. my last night as a minor was the best one of my life. There was a party of some local friends, although only a fraction showed up. my kitchen wasn't finished, but the house was cleaner than it had been in a long while.

    Chris and i had chosen the 13th because that was the night we had met on a year ago at a lan party(aka, a gathering of computer gaming geeks). we hadn't stopped talking since. it was also the night before my birthday, and we had never really had a 'look, we bought a house of our own!' party. so all were thrown together with pizza to celebrate.

    Chris never really left my side all night, and we often were sharing a seat. around ten o'clock, he started talking about the night from a year ago. he really had never been far from my side that night either.

    the night of our party, Darin and my brother were around, but So.

    I am 21 years old now. my last night as a minor was the best one of my life. There was a party of some local friends, although only a fraction showed up. my kitchen wasn't finished, but the house was cleaner than it had been in a long while.

    Chris and i had chosen the 13th because that was the night we had met on a year ago at a lan party(aka, a gathering of computer gaming geeks). we hadn't stopped talking since. it was also the night before my birthday, and we had never really had a 'look, we bought a house of our own!' party. so all were thrown together with pizza to celebrate.

    Chris never really left my side all night, and we often were sharing a seat. around ten o'clock, he started talking about the night from a year ago. he really had never been far from my side that night either.

    the night of our party, Darin and my brother were around, but unfortunately others had left early. but while sitting on his lap, chris proposed to me. the ring is a silver puzzle ring, similar to one he wears. i cried, of course, but only a little. all of my doubts vanished in an instant.

    the wedding will most likely be on february 29th of next year, with the reception the day after. Chris will be taking my last name. no other plans have been made as of yet. i love this man so much, and have never been so excited or thankful for someone before.

    i know i didn't call everyone that i should have, or wanted to, but such is life, and time is short.
    others had left early. but while sitting on his lap, chris proposed to me. the ring is a silver puzzle ring, similar to one he wears. i cried, of course, but only a little. all of my doubts vanished in an instant.

    the wedding will most likely be on february 29th of next year, with the reception the day after. Chris will be taking my last name. no other plans have been made as of yet. i love this man so much, and have never been so excited or thankful for someone before.

    i know i didn't call everyone that i should have, or wanted to, but such is life, and time is short.

    current mood: loved

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    Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
    10:30 pm
    please tell me that i am not the only one that keeps my paintbrushes in the freezer.

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    Thursday, January 4th, 2007
    4:58 am
    So. I gave Beaner's my two week notice yesterday.
    did i even tell you i worked there? the place is waaay too snooty/rich/dry for the likes of me.

    I got a new computer desk for my birthday.

    someone is coming over today to measure for countertop installation. maybe i can cook before my birthday.

    i'll be 21 soon.

    i need to buy more granola.

    my fridge is all better.

    the puppy my brother and his fiancè got died from parvo yesterday.

    my new phone is pretty.

    days have been so mixed up.

    okay, time to go to work.

    current mood: tired

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